I really can’t believe I’m doing this. No one is sick, no one can’t get to work, there aren’t even puppies involved. There is just what I’m going to say, and hope you don’t unfollow me for it.
Avery needs a new laptop. The one she has now is a cheap HP that we got on Black Friday, 2008. It is dying. It’s been dying for quite some time, but it’s getting bad now. She borrows her sister’s laptop to do anything intensive (like make me a Tumblr theme for my birthday). Hers overheats unless she keeps a hand under it and periodically stands by the window.
Even just to write Jesus and Judas, and the pieces she puts on her main site, it’s tough. And unlike you and me, she’s serious about those pieces. Writing those pieces is what she wants to do with her life. Maybe not those pieces. But ones like them. Except she’ll get paid in dollars rather than hearts and stars. In all seriousness, she’s getting a comedy writing degree. She’s going to write funny things professionally, and not being able to do it now is a problem.
But I’ll be honest. That’s not the big problem, or at least not the problem I’m writing about. Skype is a nightmare. Lately our call quality is so terrible that we start it over several times in one conversation, hoping it will get just a tiny bit better. If we want to watch something together, she has to use Skype on her iPod, because the computer can’t handle both Skype and YouTube at the same time.
And that’s all we have. Phone calls are expensive, and don’t have video (not that we can use video lately anyway—I haven’t seen my girlfriend in weeks). If she completely can’t use Skype, we’re down to email. And if her computer really goes, we’re down to perhaps brief notes from her sister’s computer, when her sister is feeling kind, and while she still lives there (not for long). We thought she would be moving here soon, would already be here actually. It looks like we’re going to be in different countries for another two years or so. Two years. Her computer is *not* going to last two years. It may not last two months. And without it, we have nothing.
I said earlier that no one is sick. This is true. But if we lose the only thing we have that lets us be together, that lets us have a small semblance of a normal relationship, I’m pretty sure I’ll be sick. Just thinking about not having any way to talk makes me nervous. When she’s not on Skype and not answering email, my chest seizes up, because I don’t know if she’s away from the computer or if the computer is finished. This series of tubes keeps me connected to the girl I love, and I don’t know how I can function without that.
You see where this is going. I have some money, but babysitting doesn’t pay *that* well. My mom is willing to help out. But it’s not enough for a computer, not a real one. We decided it’s stupid to buy another crappy computer, and that we would save up for something nice (read: Mac). She hates PCs anyway. Of course, this decision was made when we thought we could be in the same place during the saving up.
Okay, here it is: we need money. And I am turning to you guys, because you’re the people who have watched our relationship from the beginning, the people who have supported us when it’s sucked, and the people I care about. There’s debate over whether or not this is a “community”, but if “community” means taking care of each other, it is, because we do. I know this isn’t the biggest issue we’ve faced. I’m not trying to flatter or guilt anyone into helping. But if you want to, if you can, please click here. Even a tiny bit helps.
If I’ve been awkward and come off demanding and whiny, I apologize. I’m scared and uncertain, and honesty is all I can offer right now, even if it’s not very eloquent. Please feel free to reblog. Thank you.
I’m typing this with one hand under my laptop to keep a stack of popsicles in place to cool it down. Not even kidding. If you’re a fan of my ‘work’ and would like to see more of it, please consider kicking in one or two bucks by donating here. I will be eternally* grateful.
*Neither Einstein or myself can guarantee an eternal or infinite universe. Gratefulness limited to one (1) human lifetime.